I Still Miss Someone
by myguyssamanddean
Summary: How John deals with loneliness while on the road.


I Still Miss Someone

John was tired. Oh, so tired. He'd finally killed that evil thing, but it had taken so much out of him. The boys were still safe with Father Jim, and it would be such a long drive to get there. Besides, part of him was pulling him elsewhere .. .

He could recall the details of Mary's face, how her hair smelled on the pillow next to his. Her smile would automatically make him smile. Each time he saw her, that first glance had made his heart stop for a moment. And, her eyes. They were so beautiful and full of sparkle until the end. The last time he saw her, she'd been pinned to the ceiling of Sammy's nursery and her eyes were full of horror and pain. If he tried to remember the good memories, he yearned for the future they never had a chance to have. If he remembered the look in her eyes before she burst into flames, the anger could consume him. There was no painless way to remember his wife and the love they shared.

He drove to the motel he'd first stayed at with the boys after Mary's death. The lady who owned it had watch the boys for him when he went on his first hunt for a hellhound. He'd been back to the motel several times since then. She'd become a friend, an occasional comfort in his unpredictable life.

She'd woken up when John rang the bell. Her eyes were blurry as she entered the office and looked at her customer. "How long will you be staying this time, John?" She asked.

"One night for sure, maybe two. Do you have a room?"

"There's always room here for you," she replied. "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like hell. Are you okay?"

"Just in need of a shower and some sleep," was his answer. "This was a particularly tough one to get rid of. Days like this, I feel so old."

"You're not old, John. Just a little peace and quiet and you'll be back to keeping me on my toes in no time."

John gave her that smile of his that made her heart melt. "You are always so kind to me. I'm not that much trouble to have around am I?"

"Did you hear me complaining?" she smiled back. She handed him a key, "It's open for two nights in case you decide to stay."

"Okay, thank you."

He got so sleepy standing in the hot shower. He was finally able to relax since the hunt started. Getting the dirt off felt good, too. He toweled off and headed for bed.

There she was. The moonlight and the way she was smiling made her look years younger. She'd been a beautiful woman. Time alone had turned her tough and a little rough around the edges. "I thought you might want some company," she said in a way that was a question. John could have said he didn't need any and their friendship wouldn't have changed.

"I think I'd like that," his deep voice rumbled and his smile lit up his eyes a little. He walked towards her as she stood up. They met somewhere near the middle of the room. They embraced and each felt the other relax a little. Her robe felt silky against his bare chest. His skin was still a little wet beneath her cheek. To her, he felt solid and protective.

She had her arms around his neck. His hands were on the small of her back. He had hung his head down just to feel a little closer to her. His cheek rested on the top of her head. After a few moments of soaking in the feeling of her body against his, he moved one callused hand to her jaw and tilted her head up toward his.

Their eyes met. They both had the warm look of longing in their eyes. Alone for too long. Craving the simple act of being touched by someone. Not daring to crave anything more, just simple human contact.

He gently pressed his lips to hers. Her lips responded and he could not suppress a groan from deep inside. She sighed as their lips ventures to each other's neck and shoulders. John took a small step back, broke their kiss and put a finger in the tie of the belt of her robe. He looked in her face for any sign of hesitation. If there had been any, he knew he would still be able to sleep holding her robed body. But, here was none.

Her robe was easily opened. His rough hands caught on the material as he slipped it off and it fell to the floor. Her nightgown underneath had been purchased several years before, back when she cared about having a boyfriend. It didn't fit quite right but John just saw the good heart that he knew was beating underneath the aged material.

He pulled her closer to him, away from her robe on the floor. He led her to the bed, where they were caressing and kissing, each of them starting to come alive. Clothing was discarded as they continued on, hungering for more.

Afterwards, she had her head on his chest as they were talking. His strong arm was around her, lazily stroking her arm, sometimes tempting her breast. They fell asleep naked and pressed together, as only two openly honest people can be.

She slipped back down to the office before daylight. John took pleasure watching her wake and dress. He almost asked her to stay longer, but knew that she needed to look respectable when guests came in. She bent over the bed and kissed him once more before leaving. John happened to get a glance and he looked up at her with a smile and mischief in his eyes. "I see you are already rested. Do I have to watch what I do around you?"

"No," John's face didn't change, "Just appreciating the view." She laughed as she left.

John decided he could call Father Jim and tell him he'd be on his way tomorrow. John needed that second night at the hotel.

He ached for Mary. Nothing would change that. But, at the motel, he'd found a lady who was also longing for someone from her past--possibly the one she bought the nightgown for. Since each of them was hurting because of someone else, it made it okay to fall together for a night or two, easing the pain temporarily. They could be with a friend who cared but would never ask for love that their own heart was unable to give.


End file.
